


Bind

by MemoryDragon



Series: Linked [2]
Category: Tales of Xillia
Genre: Fluff, Gen, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-30
Updated: 2021-01-30
Packaged: 2021-03-16 11:49:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,294
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29081913
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MemoryDragon/pseuds/MemoryDragon
Summary: Alvin was doing better once they returned to Reize Maxia, but Milla sensed something was still off.  Perhaps it was time they had a talk...
Relationships: Alvin & Milla Maxwell
Series: Linked [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2133621
Comments: 2
Kudos: 8





	Bind

**Author's Note:**

> **Disclaimer:** I do not own Tales of Xillia, nor do I make any claim to.  
>  **Warnings:** Takes place after the party returns to Reize Maxia from Elympios, so expect spoilers up to that point. It deals a great deal with how depressed Alvin was at the time. Also, there's some minor pre-shipping going on and some discussion about _Men and Women Between the Sheets_.  
>  **Rating:** T  
>  **Thanks:** Many thanks to narwhale_callin for the beta, even when you had no idea about the characters and had to listen to me have feels over Alvin. XD  
>  **Notes:** So this is part two of a two part series that was mostly written because Alvin gave me a lot of feels. One thing of note is while none of this is actually mentioned in the fic, I was writing the characters from very specific sexual/romantic orientations and that partially colored how the characters were written, though that comes out more in Milla's part than Jude's. So for the record, I view Alvin as aromantic/bisexual, Jude as bi, and Milla, if she were to come across the words, would probably prefer panromantic/asexual (she never cared much for tethering like her sister and human sex is purely academic). Like I said though, none of that was really mentioned enough to tag, so it's just for reference. Milla's part also ends in pre-slashy potential poly, which you can take however you want. It's definitely an eventual, when Jude is older and spyrix has been replaced so Milla can join them from time to time-ship for me. XD

They were back in Fennmont to get supplies, though Milla suspected they all just wanted to be somewhere familiar after being stuck in Elympios. No one had been sure if they'd ever be able to return, and the relief had been more than enough to excuse staying the night. Fennmont was where it all started, after all.

She watched as the group bickered over supplies, her eyes lingering on Jude shifting his weight as he clutched at his arm. It was an endearing posture that he never grew out of, regardless of how his determination had grown, and she smiled. He wouldn't be Jude without it.

Her smile faded as Alvin threw his arm around Jude's shoulders, no doubt teasing him about something. It was good to see Alvin in better spirits, but...

Alvin caught her eyes before looking away. Then he let go of Jude, much smoother than he had been lately. She didn't think Jude had noticed.

Humans were strange creatures to her, even now after traveling with them for so long. Had she looked too stern? It hadn't been her intent, but it was far from the first time she'd been misinterpreted. She still lacked a mastery of nuance when it came to dealing with humans.

And she did need to talk to Alvin.

Jude had approached her about him, and it seemed like Jude's talk with the man had done a lot of good. Something also appeared to have happened between him and Elize, which Milla was glad of. He was healing, but still...

Milla sighed, looking out at the ocean. Fennmont Seahaven was a bustling place, but the night clime afforded small, secluded spaces that could be found with a little effort to offer privacy when one wanted. She found one such corner, staring out at the sea as she leaned back against the wall. Soon, she wouldn't be able to stand here at all, not like this. Jude had figured it out, but she still hadn't been able to find a way to tell the others. Particularly...

"They're starting to think you ditched them."

"And if I did?" Milla said, turning to Alvin. He was at the top of the stairs, looking down as he fiddled with his scarf.

"Jude said I should be the one to find you if you had," he muttered as he came down.

So Jude _had_ noticed. It was one of the first things she'd learned about Jude after all - he was a very clever boy.

She looked at the sea again, debating her words. Alvin had taught her a lot about dealing with humans, particularly about coming off as too cold. He had, perhaps, always been more sensitive than the life he followed allowed.

Before she could find the words, however, Alvin sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I won't... I'm done betraying everyone, if that's what you're worried about," he said. "Though me saying that probably doesn't account for much."

"I'm not worried," she said, tilting her head to look at him. "At least, not about that."

He frowned at her, finally moving to stand beside her. "Not that I'm complaining or anything, but you remember how many times I've tried to kill you, right?"

"What happened aboard the _Zenethra_ wasn't your fault, Alvin," she said. He didn't manage to hide his flinch.

"Pretty sure it was," Alvin said, crossing his hands behind his head as he leaned back against the wall, deliberately casual. "Punching a hole through the schism was my goal all along, remember?"

"I asked you to stay here in Rieza Maxia, but I never gave you a reason to trust me." Milla shook her head. That wasn't right. "No, I gave you several reasons _not_ to trust me. I can hardly blame you for that."

"Alright, I'm lost," Alvin said. "I'm the one who lies and betrays everyone. Since when has me trusting you ever been the problem?"

"When I realized Exodus was also human," Milla said, watching as Alvin went still. "I still decided to hunt them. I condemned spyrix technology and everyone in your homeland for using it. Including _you_."

Alvin's eyes slid down and away. "It's not like you're wrong about that," he said. "Spyrix kills spirits and Elympios continued to use it anyway. We brought our own destruction on ourselves."

"You weren't wrong either. They _are_ the same humans as those of Rieza Maxia," Milla said, looking down at the aspyrixis on her leg. It was entirely unnecessary now, but through it she learned that spyrixes didn't only cause harm. "I should have listened to what you were trying to tell me when the children from Exodus attacked, and I apologize."

Alvin stared at her, completely agape. She wasn't used to seeing him speechless. "You..." Alvin said, his eyes wide. "It's not like I really _tried_ to tell you."

"I would not have listened," Milla said, for that much was true. It wasn't until very recently she had seen past Maxwell's directives to truly understand her duty, and though Alvin had hidden it just like he had hidden most things, she knew now it had hurt him.

Alvin didn't say anything at that, and Milla let the silence settle between them. That still wasn't enough. Alvin's healing was still too fragile, but if she could stay...

She didn't want to make promises she couldn't keep.

"What will you do after?" she asked finally, wondering how much she could say. It was difficult to fault Alvin for his secrets when she now kept one of her own.

"I... don't know," Alvin admitted, rubbing his wrist. "Go home, I guess? Not that I have much of one. Twenty years being missing does that to you."

"You have Balan."

Alvin sighed, looking up at the twin moons. "I haven't seen him since I was six. He's as much of a stranger as the rest of Elympios is to me, aside from the fact he remembers embarrassing childhood stories. I'm not even sure if I mean Elympios or Xian Du when I say home."

"Have you given thought to what I said in the Xailin temple? Would it be so bad to stay with us?"

"I _failed_ you, and you still..."

"What did you do, after the _Zenethra_ sank?"

"I... thought the others filled you in."

She knew Alvin had split from the group and that he'd shot Leia, but even Jude was cagey about what happened. None of that told Milla very much about _Alvin_ , or what he'd done beyond that. "Tell me in your own words," she said.

And just like that, Alvin returned to how he was when she first came back from the spirit world - his shoulders hunched and unable to maintain eye contact, a haunted expression etched on his face. She wondered how much of his regained cheer was an act. Jude was right. She'd needed to have this talk with Alvin.

"I ran away," Alvin said quietly. "One of the only things I'm good at, honestly. When it hurts too much, I just disappear."

"You left the others," Milla said, without judgement.

"What else was I supposed to do?!" Alvin asked, still not looking at her. "I was the one who got back the key you tried to hide. I was the reason the Lance of Kresnik was usable. Why you had to... Even on the _Zenethra_ , I _held Jude back_ from trying to save you. And for what? The schism was still there and I couldn't go back to Elympios. All of the people who were hurt - you _died_ \- and nothing changed!"

"You could have stayed with them," Milla said. Alvin was quite capable in that regard, and he could have held them together if he'd tried. His leaving had fractured the group instead of uniting them. She didn't blame him for leaving, no more than she blamed Jude for needing time to pull himself together after what happened, but it would have helped him more than leaving had.

"I can barely face them _now_ ," Alvin said bitterly. "And that's only because I've got nowhere else to run."

"Do you want to stay with us?"

"... Yes," Alvin said, his voice just barely above a whisper as he stared at the ground. "Since you guys can't seem to tell me to take a hike. Can't guarantee I won't be an idiot and run again, but... I'm trying. Not that my word counts for much, but I am."

"You don't have to worry, then," Milla said, a slow smile tugging at her lips. "I have a solution for if you try to run again."

"Wait, you do?"

"Yes."

She waited until he finally looked at her with much less suspicion than she expected. It was easy to call her powers, effectively binding him in place.

There was a brief moment of panic when he realized he couldn't move, then shocked disbelief. "You're serious?"

"Of course," Milla said confidently, her hand glowing as she held him in place. "Now you can no longer run away. I can hold you as long as you need until you remember why you shouldn't."

"I can't move at all!" Alvin said, but his anger was covering something else, and she peered up at him, trying to decipher it. He couldn't turn away from her, but his eyes slid to the side and it was easy to see the faint blush on his cheeks that became more prominent the closer she got.

"You're enjoying this!" she said, completely delighted. She had never gotten a definitive answer about whether _Men and Women Between the Sheets_ had been telling the truth about human sex. Some of it had seemed a little far-fetched, including the bits about enjoying pain, but clearly it had been right about some humans enjoying being bound. A quick once-over was enough to confirm her suspicions.

"Th-That's not - We are _not_ talking about this," Alvin said, fully flustered by this point.

Suddenly, his relationship with the spy Presa made a lot more sense.

Milla nodded solemnly though, because the book had been very clear about consent being important. She hadn't quite grasped the intricacies of a simple yes or no not always meaning yes or no, but it was fairly clear he wanted out now. She let him go, and he sagged against the wall, rubbing his wrist absently. "If you think you might run away again, I can bind you as long as you need," Milla said, falling back to the previous conversation. "You don't have to do this alone, Alvin."

Even if she wasn't able to stay in the human realm, she was sure she could keep that promise if he needed it. It wasn't much, but that much she could do.

"I'll... keep that in mind," he said, his voice cracking. Her last sentence in particular seemed to affect him strongly, so she waited for him to collect himself.

"So what will you do after everything ends?" she asked again.

"Guess I'll be staying with all of you until you tell me to get lost," he said, though without his usual cockiness.

"Better," she said, smiling to herself. "Will you still be a mercenary?"

"That I'll pass on. I never liked being one, honestly," he said. "Not that I've got a lot of other options, but with Mom... I've got a bit of money set aside, until I figure something else out."

"Ivar's disappeared," Milla said. "You could always be my handmaid."

He looked at her in disbelief, and she smiled in spite of herself. "Don't you have to be able to talk to animals or in the very least channel spirits for that?" he asked.

"Are you saying you can't live up to Ivar?"

"Please, he doesn't stand a - _No_ , you are not goading me into living in the sticks. Nia Kara is quaint, but I'm a city boy. I'll..." He shook his head. "...I'm sure there's something I can do."

Milla nodded. She couldn't give him a direction, no matter how she wished to help. But as long as he _stayed_ , she was sure he'd figure things out.

"Why did you keep me around?" he asked finally. "You... No one else did, once I... Even after you found out I was from Elympios, you asked me to _stay_. Why did you..."

"It was easier to keep an eye on you that way," Milla admitted, "but mostly because you wanted to come."

"I was trailing you because I needed the key," Alvin said.

"That was your _reason_ ," Milla said. "You could have done that without coming with us. You even tried to stay away for a while, after what happened at Fort Gandala. It wasn't what you wanted though."

"I had another job that-"

"You kept watch," Milla said. It was fairly easy to track them down, granted, as they hadn't made their journey to Leronde a secret, but he had definitely kept an eye on them, showing up to talk to Derrick long before she'd been ready to walk again. "You kept watch because you couldn't let us go and you didn't _want_ to keep up the act, but you also couldn't stop. You wanted to travel with us."

"Maybe you shouldn't have let me," Alvin said quietly. "Everything I did-"

"Wasn't all bad," Milla interrupted. "You taught me much about humanity, and you protected everyone. You may have lied to us and yourself, but..."

She moved closer, placing her hand on his chest. Even though this time, she wasn't using her powers, Alvin froze, barely breathing. "Your heart knew its place was with us. That was enough. So why did you want to stay?"

Alvin was silent for a while. His hand was shaking as he brought it up, and she wondered if he was going to push her away, but instead it fell back at his side. "I'm tired of being _alone_ ," he said finally.

"Then don't be," Milla said. "After everything is finished, don't run away."

"It's... not that easy," he said, his eyes once again slipping away.

"So you will run away?" Milla's hand started to glow again as she called her powers, but she didn't bind him just yet. She hadn't expected him to try to run so soon after what he'd said earlier, but she was determined to keep her promise.

Alvin backed away. "No! I... I'm done running, even if it's harder to stay. I mean that."

She gave him space as his shoulders hunched and he closed his eyes, breathing to center himself. "You're not alone, Alvin," she said softly. "We'll all help in binding you to us, if you need it. You only have to let us help."

He still didn't open his eyes, and she could see the fear in his stance. She frowned, because Alvin wasn't one who was easily afraid.

"I'm sorry," he said finally.

"What for?" He wasn't going to turn her down, was he?

"Everything," Alvin said, gesturing to himself. "For pointing a gun at you multiple times, actively working against you to the point where you _died_ , and for…failing, after. For running away instead of taking care of everyone like I should have. For _living_ , after everything I-"

She placed a finger on his lips. From what she had learned of Jude's reactions, it was an intimate gesture, but it kept both of them quiet without Milla asking Undine to step in, and she'd be lying if she said she didn't enjoy seeing their reactions.

"Don't apologize for surviving," Milla said, because even with his myriad of lies and betrayals, living wasn't a crime, and she was very glad he'd survived. "But if that's how you really feel, then you know what to do."

She moved her hand away, and he ducked his head. "I-I have to stay," he said. "I don't... maybe I can't make things right after everything, but I have to try."

She really hoped he would, if only because she couldn't.

"Good," she said. It had never been a matter to forgive, not to her, but if she could trust him - now, she thought he might finally be ready.

"So... it's okay?" Alvin said, a mixture of disbelief and hope in his eyes.

"It will be," she admonished. He still had a lot to prove.

He fiddled with his scarf again, looking down. "Yeah, that's fair. But I won't let you down this time."

Milla smiled, batting his hands away as she straightened his scarf. He almost leaned into her before he held himself still, which was a reaction that Milla found indefinitely interesting. "Let's go back to the others," she said finally. "I'm sure Jude is worrying."

There was a crash above them and the sound of a very familiar voice cursing, and Alvin shook his head, a faint blush on his cheeks. "How much do you think he overheard?"

"I didn't hear him come up," Milla said, climbing up on a nearby crate to peer over the ledge. Sure enough, Jude was sprawled out on a box of broken poranges that were rolling away despite his best efforts to corral them. His ability to sneak up behind people didn't, apparently, include sneaking away successfully.

"I'm so sorry," Jude said to the merchant as gathered up the poranges.

"Didn't anyone tell you it's not polite to eavesdrop?" Alvin had decided to take the stairs rather than follow Milla up the crate, and he leaned down to help.

Jude dropped the porange he'd been handing to the disapproving shopkeeper, and it landed with a sad plop. Milla looked down at it mournfully. She hated to see delicious food wasted.

"I'll pay for that one," Jude said with another apology. Then to Alvin, "I was... I was just worried, so I just came to check. I didn't hear much!"

Alvin and Milla traded a glance, then she looked at the merchant who was none too pleased with Jude. "How long was he there?" she asked.

"Kid came up shortly after the tall guy here walked down the steps," the shop keeper said, putting her hands on her hips.

Alvin draped his arm around Jude's shoulder and pinched his cheek.

"Ow! Alvin!"

"What'd I tell you about sneaking up behind people and being creepy?" he said, continuing to pinch despite Jude's protests. "You're also a terrible liar."

She watched the two of them be scolded by the shopkeeper, knowing she would have to get used to the distance. That didn't mean she had to like it, but she would be okay, wouldn't she?

"What are you smiling about?" Alvin asked Jude as he helped Milla off her crate.

"I'm just glad you're staying," Jude said, blushing. Again, it was an interesting reaction. Humans were such curious creatures! Jude was reacting to Alvin the same way he reacted to her, which Milla found to be a fascinating development. Jude realized she was watching him and he started to panic. "I mean, ah, you-"

"That's my cue to leave you two lovebirds before I become a third wheel," Alvin said, a wistfulness in his eyes he couldn't quite hide. "Don't do anything I wouldn't do."

" _Alvin_ ," Jude said.

Milla grabbed his arm before he could take off, and he shot her a questioning look. She should tell him she couldn't stay. She should...

"The others have gone ahead," Jude said softly, knowing what she couldn't say. "The three of us could get dinner here. We could go together?"

"You sure about that, kid?" Alvin asked.

"Yes," Milla answered for him, and Jude's smile grew less hesitant. "All three of us."

Alvin looked between them, confused, but he nodded. He'd understand soon enough.

And she could treasure the time she still had with her friends.

~Fin~

**Author's Note:**

> Mem: And there you have it. I just had a lot of feels about this dumbass and his stupid scarf. Don't know if I'd ever write more for Xillia, but in the very least hopefully at least a few people will enjoy this series. 
> 
> Quote of the fic:  
> "The worst loneliness is not to be comfortable with yourself."  
> -Mark Twain


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